A. PENGERTIAN KARAKTER
Menurut bahasa, karakter adalah tabiat atau kebiasaan. Sedangkan menurut ahli psikologi, karakter adalah sebuah sistem keyakinan dan kebiasaan yang mengarahkan tindakan seorang individu. Karena itu, jika pengetahuan mengenai karakter seseorang itu dapat diketahui, maka dapat diketahui pula bagaimana individu tersebut akan bersikap untuk kondisi-kondisi tertentu.1
Dilihat dari sudut pengertian, ternyata karakter dan akhlak tidak memiliki perbedaan yang signifikan. Keduanya didefinisikan sebagai suatu tindakan yang terjadi tanpa ada lagi pemikiran lagi karena sudah tertanam dalam pikiran, dan dengan kata lain, keduanya dapat disebut dengan kebiasaan.
B. MEKANISME PEMBENTUKAN KARAKTER
1. Unsur dalam Pembentukan Karakter
Unsur terpenting dalam pembentukan karakter adalah pikiran karena pikiran, yang di dalamnya terdapat seluruh program yang terbentuk dari pengalaman hidupnya, merupakan pelopor segalanya.2 Program ini kemudian membentuk sistem kepercayaan yang akhirnya dapat membentuk pola berpikirnya yang bisa mempengaruhi perilakunya. Jika program yang tertanam tersebut sesuai dengan prinsip-prinsip kebenaran universal, maka perilakunya berjalan selaras dengan hukum alam. Hasilnya, perilaku tersebut membawa ketenangan dan kebahagiaan. Sebaliknya, jika program tersebut tidak sesuai dengan prinsip-prinsip hukum universal, maka perilakunya membawa kerusakan dan menghasilkan penderitaan. Oleh karena itu, pikiran harus mendapatkan perhatian serius.
Tentang pikiran, Joseph Murphy mengatakan bahwa di dalam diri manusia terdapat satu pikiran yang memiliki ciri yang berbeda. Untuk membedakan ciri tersebut, maka istilahnya dinamakan dengan pikiran sadar (conscious mind) atau pikiran objektif dan pikiran bawah sadar (subconscious mind) atau pikiran subjektif.3 Penjelasan Adi W. Gunawan mengenai fungsi dari pikiran sadar dan bawah sadar menarik untuk dikutip.
Pikiran sadar yang secara fisik terletak di bagian korteks otak bersifat logis dan analisis dengan memiliki pengaruh sebesar 12 % dari kemampuan otak. Sedangkan pikiran bawah sadar secara fisik terletak di medulla oblongata yang sudah terbentuk ketika masih di dalam kandungan. Karena itu, ketika bayi yang dilahirkan menangis, bayi tersebut akan tenang di dekapan ibunya karena dia sudah merasa tidak asing lagi dengan detak jantung ibunya. Pikiran bawah sadar bersifat netral dan sugestif.4
Untuk memahami cara kerja pikiran, kita perlu tahu bahwa pikiran sadar (conscious) adalah pikiran objektif yang berhubungan dengan objek luar dengan menggunakan panca indra sebagai media dan sifat pikiran sadar ini adalah menalar. Sedangkan pikiran bawah sadar (subsconscious) adalah pikiran subjektif yang berisi emosi serta memori, bersifat irasional, tidak menalar, dan tidak dapat membantah. Kerja pikiran bawah sadar menjadi sangat optimal ketika kerja pikiran sadar semakin minimal.5
Pikiran sadar dan bawah sadar terus berinteraksi. Pikiran bawah sadar akan menjalankan apa yang telah dikesankan kepadanya melalui sistem kepercayaan yang lahir dari hasil kesimpulan nalar dari pikiran sadar terhadap objek luar yang diamatinya. Karena, pikiran bawah sadar akan terus mengikuti kesan dari pikiran sadar, maka pikiran sadar diibaratkan seperti nahkoda sedangkan pikiran bawah sadar diibaratkan seperti awak kapal yang siap menjalankan perintah, terlepas perintah itu benar atau salah. Di sini, pikiran sadar bisa berperan sebagai penjaga untuk melindungi pikiran bawah sadar dari pengaruh objek luar.
Kita ambil sebuah contoh. Jika media masa memberitakan bahwa Indonesia semakin terpuruk, maka berita ini dapat membuat seseorang merasa depresi karena setelah mendengar dan melihat berita tersebut, dia menalar berdasarkan kepercayaan yang dipegang seperti berikut ini, “Kalau Indonesia terpuruk, rakyat jadi terpuruk. Saya adalah rakyat Indonesia, jadi ketika Indonesia terpuruk, maka saya juga terpuruk.” Dari sini, kesan yang diperoleh dari hasil penalaran di pikiran sadar adalah kesan ketidakberdayaan yang berakibat kepada rasa putus asa. Akhirnya rasa ketidakberdayaan tersebut akan memunculkan perilaku destruktif, bahkan bisa mendorong kepada tindak kejahatan seperti pencurian dengan beralasan untuk bisa bertahan hidup. Namun, melalui pikiran sadar pula, kepercayaan tersebut dapat dirubah untuk memberikan kesan berbeda dengan menambahkan contoh kalimat berikut ini, “...tapi aku punya banyak relasi orang-orang kaya yang siap membantuku.” Nah, cara berpikir semacam ini akan memberikan kesan keberdayaan sehingga kesan ini dapat memberikan harapan dan mampu meningkatkan rasa percaya diri.
Dengan memahami cara kerja pikiran tersebut, kita memahami bahwa pengendalian pikiran menjadi sangat penting. Dengan kemampuan kita dalam mengendalikan pikiran ke arah kebaikan, kita akan mudah mendapatkan apa yang kita inginkan, yaitu kebahagiaan. Sebaliknya, jika pikiran kita lepas kendali sehingga terfokus kepada keburukan dan kejahatan, maka kita akan terus mendapatkan penderitaan-penderitaan, disadari maupun tidak.
2. Proses Pembentukan Karakter
Sebelum penulis melanjutkan pembahasan, mari kita kaji ilustrasi berikut ini.. Di dalam sebuah ruangan, terdapat seorang bayi, dan dua orang dewasa. Mereka duduk dalam posisi melingkar. Kemudian masuk satu orang lain yang membawa kotak besar berwarna putih ke arah mereka. Setelah meletakkan kotak tersebut di tengah-tengah mereka, orang tersebut langsung membuka tutupnya agar keluar isinya. Apa yang terjadi...? ternyata setelah dibuka, terlihat ada tiga ular kobra berwarna hitam dan besar yang keluar dari kotak tersebut. Langsung saja, salah seorang dari mereka lari ketakutan, sedangkan yang lainnya justru berani mendekat untuk memegang ular agar tidak membahayakan, dan, tentu saja, si bayi yang ada di dekatnya tetap tidak memperlihatkan respon apa-apa terhadap ular.
Nah, begitu juga dengan kehidupan manusia di dunia ini. Kita semua dihadapkan dengan permasalahan yang sama, yaitu kehidupan duniawi. Akan tetapi respon yang kita berikan terhadap permasalahan tersebut berbeda-beda. Di antara kita, ada yang hidup penuh semangat, sedangkan yang lainnya hidup penuh malas dan putus asa. Di antara kita juga ada yang hidup dengan keluarga yang damai dan tenang, sedangkan di antara kita juga ada yang hidup dengan kondisi keluarga yang berantakan. Di antara kita juga ada yang hidup dengan perasaan bahagia dan ceria, sedangkan yang lain hidup dengan penuh penderitaan dan keluhan. Padahal kita semua berangkat dari kondisi yang sama, yaitu kondisi ketika masih kecil yang penuh semangat, ceria, bahagia, dan tidak ada rasa takut atau pun rasa sedih.
Pertanyaannya yang ingin diajukan di sini adalah “Mengapa untuk permasalahan yang sama, yaitu kehidupan duniawi, kita mengambil respon yang berbeda-beda?” jawabannya dikarenakan oleh kesan yang berbeda dan kesan tersebut dihasilkan dari pola pikir dan kepercayaan yang berbeda mengenai objek tersebut. Untuk lebih jelas, berikut penjelasannya.
Secara alami, sejak lahir sampai berusia tiga tahun, atau mungkin hingga sekitar lima tahun, kemampuan menalar seorang anak belum tumbuh sehingga pikiran bawah sadar (subconscious mind) masih terbuka dan menerima apa saja informasi dan stimulus yang dimasukkan ke dalamnya tanpa ada penyeleksian, mulai dari orang tua dan lingkungan keluarga.6 Dari mereka itulah, pondasi awal terbentuknya karakter sudah terbangun. Pondasi tersebut adalah kepercayaan tertentu dan konsep diri. Jika sejak kecil kedua orang tua selalu bertengkar lalu bercerai, maka seorang anak bisa mengambil kesimpulan sendiri bahwa perkawinan itu penderitaan. Tetapi, jika kedua orang tua selalu menunjukkan rasa saling menghormati dengan bentuk komunikasi yang akrab maka anak akan menyimpulkan ternyata pernikahan itu indah. Semua ini akan berdampak ketika sudah tumbuh dewasa.
Selanjutnya, semua pengalaman hidup yang berasal dari lingkungan kerabat, sekolah, televisi, internet, buku, majalah, dan berbagai sumber lainnya menambah pengetahuan yang akan mengantarkan seseorang memiliki kemampuan yang semakin besar untuk dapat menganalisis dan menalar objek luar. Mulai dari sinilah, peran pikiran sadar (conscious) menjadi semakin dominan. Seiring perjalanan waktu, maka penyaringan terhadap informasi yang masuk melalui pikiran sadar menjadi lebih ketat sehingga tidak sembarang informasi yang masuk melalui panca indera dapat mudah dan langsung diterima oleh pikiran bawah sadar.
Semakin banyak informasi yang diterima dan semakin matang sistem kepercayaan dan pola pikir yang terbentuk, maka semakin jelas tindakan, kebiasan, dan karakter unik dari masing-masing individu. Dengan kata lain, setiap individu akhirnya memiliki sistem kepercayaan (belief system), citra diri (self-image), dan kebiasaan (habit) yang unik. Jika sistem kepercayaannya benar dan selaras, karakternya baik, dan konsep dirinya bagus, maka kehidupannya akan terus baik dan semakin membahagiakan. Sebaliknya, jika sistem kepercayaannya tidak selaras, karakternya tidak baik, dan konsep dirinya buruk, maka kehidupannya akan dipenuhi banyak permasalahan dan penderitaan.
Kita ambil sebuah contoh. Ketika masih kecil, kebanyakan dari anak-anak memiliki konsep diri yang bagus. Mereka ceria, semangat, dan berani. Tidak ada rasa takut dan tidak ada rasa sedih. Mereka selalu merasa bahwa dirinya mampu melakukan banyak hal. Karena itu, mereka mendapatkan banyak hal. Kita bisa melihat saat mereka belajar berjalan dan jatuh, mereka akan bangkit lagi, jatuh lagi, bangkit lagi, sampai akhirnya mereka bisa berjalan seperti kita.
Akan tetapi, ketika mereka telah memasuki sekolah, mereka mengalami banyak perubahan mengenai konsep diri mereka. Di antara mereka mungkin merasa bahwa dirinya bodoh. Akhirnya mereka putus asa. Kepercayaan ini semakin diperkuat lagi setelah mengetahui bahwa nilai yang didapatkannya berada di bawah rata-rata dan orang tua mereka juga mengatakan bahwa mereka memang adalah anak-anak yang bodoh. Tentu saja, dampak negatif dari konsep diri yang buruk ini bisa membuat mereka merasa kurang percaya diri dan sulit untuk berkembang di kelak kemudian hari.
Padahal, jika dikaji lebih lanjut, kita dapat menemukan banyak penjelasan mengapa mereka mendapatkan nilai di bawah rata-rata. Mungkin, proses pembelajaran tidak sesuai dengan tipe anak, atau pengajar yang kurang menarik, atau mungkin kondisi belajar yang kurang mendukung. Dengan kata lain, pada hakikatnya, anak-anak itu pintar tetapi karena kondisi yang memberikan kesan mereka bodoh, maka mereka meyakini dirinya bodoh. Inilah konsep diri yang buruk.
Contoh yang lainnya, mayoritas ketika masih kanak-kanak, mereka tetap ceria walau kondisi ekonomi keluarganya rendah. Namun seiring perjalanan waktu, anak tersebut mungkin sering menonton sinetron yang menayangkan bahwa kondisi orang miskin selalu lemah dan mengalami banyak penderitaan dari orang kaya. Akhirnya, anak ini memegang kepercayaan bahwa orang miskin itu menderita dan tidak berdaya dan orang kaya itu jahat. Selama kepercayaan ini dipegang, maka ketika dewasa, anak ini akan sulit menjadi orang yang kuat secara ekonomi, sebab keinginan untuk menjadi kaya bertentangan dengan keyakinannya yang menyatakan bahwa orang kaya itu jahat. Kepercayaan ini hanya akan melahirkan perilaku yang mudah berkeluh kesah dan menutup diri untuk bekerjasama dengan mereka yang dirasa lebih kaya.
Nah, untuk lebih memahami tentang proses pembentukan karakter tersebut, berikut ini adalah ilustrasi-ilustrasi yang menggambarkan tentang proses tersebut.
1 N.K. Singh dan Mr. A.R. Agwan, Encyclopaedia of the Holy Qur’ân, (
2 Rhonda Byrne, The Secret, (
3 Joseph Murphy D.R.S., Rahasia Kekuatan Pikiran Bawah Sadar, (
4 Adi W. Gunawan, Hypnosis – The Art of Subconscious Communication, (
5 Adi W. Gunawan dan Ariesandi Setyono, Manage Your Mind for Success, (
6 Ariesandi Setyono, Hypnoparenting: Menjadi Orangtua Efektif dengan Hipnosis, (
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